A hard call to return. (UPDATED)

Discussion in 'Prayers & Smoke' started by Luchtaine, May 13, 2019 at 12:44 PM.

  1. Luchtaine

    Luchtaine MOA #22 Supporter Bushcraft Friend Bushclass I Bushclass Instructor

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    I got a call today from the hospital back home my father has been in and out of. The time has come to make some hard choices. Without getting into detail of his issues, he is in the ICU and they are keeping him alive. Problem is he is in tremendous pain. I needed to get with my brother who still lives out there to approve a DNR so they can treat his pain. Without the DNR they will keep him alive no matter what happens and he will just be suffering. The fear is the pain meds will lower his blood pressure to the point he won’t survive. It’s hard but I love him and suffering isn’t an option. So tomorrow I travel home. I can stay a few days. The Dr. only expects a day or two but it could be a few weeks. Who knows, I just don’t want him to suffer. Mom passed four years ago. Last time I saw my dad he was in bad shape and not the man I remember. Watching your parents age can be pretty hard. I also suspect you’re never ready to say goodbye. Soon my brother and I will be on our own. Man it’s hard. I just don’t want him to suffer or be in pain anymore. So yea, any prayers, smoke, thoughts, reflections or kind words are certainly welcome.

    Dad before he headed downhill.

    3FD0BDD7-A657-4FE3-848D-802EB64DE164.jpeg

    Dad, when I was a kid, doing what he loved to do.

    C411DBF6-EA7C-4F32-A840-849FC2E96C29.jpeg

    291DE31A-0CF0-412F-98BB-91D50A662A7F.jpeg
     
  2. Jonah L. Archer

    Jonah L. Archer ~Roughian #21~ Supporter Bushclass II

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    Dang. I'm sorry man. Prayers of wisdom and healing for you and yours inbound.
     
  3. HannahT

    HannahT Firebug Hobbyist Supporter Bushcraft Friend Bushclass I

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    :( Sure sorry to hear that.
     
  4. lodge camper

    lodge camper Supporter Supporter

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    bless you guys. may you get some good, peaceful moments with your dad. take care.
     
  5. Andy 315

    Andy 315 Supporter Supporter

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    Sorry to hear this. Kind of going through the same thing with my father. Watching him in such a fragile state is hard for sure.
     
  6. doulos

    doulos Supporter Supporter

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    Praying brother...
     
  7. MommaJ

    MommaJ Supporter Supporter Bushclass I

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    Sorry to hear. Prayers sent
     
  8. Kona9

    Kona9 Supporter Supporter

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    I'm so sorry. Sending prayers out.
     
  9. Midwest.Bushlore

    Midwest.Bushlore Supporter Supporter

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    It's hard to let go, even when it's the right thing to do. Smoke sent.
     
  10. pellegrino

    pellegrino Much to learn... Supporter Bushcraft Friend

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    Praying for your dad, you, and your family. Prayers for peace for you & your brother, and for an ease of discomfort and pain for your dad. Sorry to hear this. Hope you have safe travels to see him and have some quality time with him.
     
  11. R Stowe

    R Stowe Hobbyist Hobbyist Supporter Bushclass I

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    Praying for you and your family brother. Prayers of peace, comfort, and strength through this difficult time.
     
  12. ExAF1N1

    ExAF1N1 RIP Shane Supporter

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    Smoke and positive thoughts heading your way. May your family find peace in this difficult time.
     
  13. Harper

    Harper Supporter Supporter

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    Been there.

    Prayers have been offered on behalf of your father, you and your family.
     
  14. White Falcon

    White Falcon Tracker

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  15. Paul Foreman

    Paul Foreman Supporter Supporter

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  16. MrFixIt

    MrFixIt Old Jarhead LB#42 Supporter Bushcraft Friend

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    I’m sorry to hear this Evan.
    I too have been through this situation and the only advice I can offer is to be there with him.
    Prayers sent.
     
  17. Swamp Pirate

    Swamp Pirate Lifetime Supporter Lifetime Supporter Bushcraft Friend

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  18. Pastor Chris

    Pastor Chris Keeper of the T.Darrah Tenkara Pass-Around Hobbyist Supporter Bushcraft Friend Hardwoodsman Bushclass II

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    A very tough time indeed Evan. Prayers for all of you.
     
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  19. JohnP

    JohnP No more half measures Supporter Bushcraft Friend

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    Very sad time. Prayers for you and your family.

    JohnP
     
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  20. Pinelogcreek

    Pinelogcreek Supporter Supporter

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    Praise God for the good memories and prayers sent for you and your family as you go through this difficult time.
     
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  21. Winterhorse

    Winterhorse Supporter Supporter

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    Ah man.
    Loads of smoke going up now.
     
  22. Prairiewolf

    Prairiewolf Supporter Supporter

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    As the old saying goes, there are worse things than dying. With my own parents, there came a time when we knew that they were already gone - they just weren't technically dead yet.
     
  23. Back50

    Back50 Supporter Supporter

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    Prayer sent for you and your family. Been down the same path. Comfort care makes sure his suffering is minimal....
     
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  24. Swampdog

    Swampdog Supporter Supporter Bushcraft Friend

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    I held my father's hand when he took his last breath.

    You are between a rock and a hard place... just be there for him and hold his hand.

    Prayers and positive thoughts sent your way.
     
  25. Zornt

    Zornt Guide

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    Prayers and smoke sent my friend.
    I also had to make that hard choice for both my father and mother.
    It still haunts me once in a while, but I know I made the right choice. They are no longer in pain and are safe with the God that made them.
    Jon
     
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  26. adkwalker

    adkwalker Supporter Supporter

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    Prayers for you and your family
    Big smoke for your travel go safe my friend!
    Kevin
     
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  27. icemanx722

    icemanx722 Supporter Supporter Bushcraft Friend

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    I am sorry brother. Prayers for your family.
     
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  28. central joe

    central joe Wait For Me!! Supporter Bushcraft Friend

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    Prayers offered. Sometimes the right thing to do is the hardest thing to do. joe
     
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  29. NevadaBlue

    NevadaBlue —- Roughian #7 -— --- Graybeard -— Supporter Bushcraft Friend Bushclass I

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    Prayers sent.

    Evan, do what is right for him. You guys will know. It is so hard. My Dad only lasted 2 years after Mom died. Thankfully he went fairly quickly, but he still had a scary night on a respirator. The doc had orders not to use it, and I had talked with him about it, but Dad asked for it, and it made passing easier for him. I didn’t make it home in time. 600 miles... and not enough time to make it.
    Be with him if you can.
    Remember him in that speed boat. ;)
     
  30. Bob_Spr

    Bob_Spr Supporter Supporter

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    Prayers said. It is tough.
     
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  31. BBizy

    BBizy Tinder Gatherer

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    Evan, thanks for sharing this special burden with us. I am praying that you will have the special strength, sensitivity and wisdom that you need to provide the guidance necessary for your fathers care at this time.
    Ira
     
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  32. Big Flounder

    Big Flounder Tracker

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    Prayers for you and your family.
     
  33. T. Pollock

    T. Pollock T's Custom Outdoor Gear Vendor Supporter Bushcraft Friend Bushclass I

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    Very sorry to hear this Evan. Prayers for you and your family.
     
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  34. hdbeav

    hdbeav As Iron Sharpens Iron #24 / Noble Order of the Cup Supporter

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    Prayers for comfort and peace for all.
     
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  35. Bryan King

    Bryan King Supporter Supporter

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  36. carpenter

    carpenter AXE MOB Supporter

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    Went through the same with my mom. Prayers sent.
     
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  37. Hoof

    Hoof Former Genius Bushcraft Friend

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    May God keep him and bless those who love him.
     
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  38. CSM1970

    CSM1970 Guide

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    Prayers for all involved.
     
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  39. IzaWildman

    IzaWildman Grey Owl Supporter

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    So sorry to hear it. I empathize, my father was in the same situation in '92.. I was grateful he passed quickly. You have my prayers for you, your father and family.
     
  40. Seeker

    Seeker Woods Bum Supporter Bushclass I

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    Prayers Evan... for strength, wisdom, comfort, and peace (and probably in that order).
     
  41. Logan Woods

    Logan Woods Scout

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    Strength, support, and smoke to you and your family my friend, that is one of the hardest things to deal with.
     
  42. Philly-Billy

    Philly-Billy Scout

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    Prayers and peace to you and your brother.
     
  43. Woodsman Wannabe

    Woodsman Wannabe Scout

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    Do what you know is right. Your conflict means you are a good son.
     
  44. Metaldog

    Metaldog Just chasing my tail... Supporter Bushcraft Friend

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    Sorry to hear this news. Tough one. I went through it with my dad. My mother was so distraught that she couldn't make any rational decisions. She signed papers at the doctors urging that relinquished the decision making to me. I'm the one who made the call to put him on comfort measures and let him go as peaceably as possible. Absolutely, the hardest decision I ever made, but I knew it was the right thing to do. And it was what my father wanted. I miss the man sorely to this day. It has been near ten years & I don't think I will ever completely get over it. My true consolation is that my dad & I were able to have a heart to heart talk roughly 30 minutes before he passed. It was a conversation I needed. He told me he loved me & he was proud of who I had become.

    @Luchtaine my heart pours out for you and your family. I will be praying for all affected in this situation. For God to put his loving hands on you, to give you wisdom, strength, and peace during this difficult time. Be blessed.
     
  45. PaPa K

    PaPa K Supporter Supporter

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    Prayers for wisdom and discernment in this difficult decision. Also for strength, it is good you can be there for him.
     
  46. WFR

    WFR Supporter Supporter

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    Prayers for you and your family. May God's peace be upon you and yours during this difficult time.
     
  47. Bonekrakker

    Bonekrakker Not a chiropractor Supporter

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    Will pray for you and your family bro.
     
  48. Dillon Finan

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  49. blind & lost

    blind & lost LB#42 Supporter Bushcraft Friend

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    Prayers for comfort and wisdom for you and your family. Safe travels.
     
  50. Takeuscamping

    Takeuscamping Guide

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    Praying for you, that God will guide your decisions and comfort you with His promises.
     

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