Bushcraft humor.....and no one laughed.

Discussion in 'General Bushcraft Discussion' started by PACoureurDuBois, Nov 8, 2018.

  1. PACoureurDuBois

    PACoureurDuBois Supporter Supporter

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    I was taking a con-ed class yesterday, and the doctor giving the lecture was taking about how synovial fluid (fluid between your joints that breaks down friction) is one of the most slippery substances in existence.

    To which I replied, "Apparently you've never stepped on a pile of wet leaves in the woods.".......and no one got it.

    I took a class with a bunch of home-bodies and office folks, I suppose.
     
  2. Wesleypipesyo

    Wesleypipesyo Tracker

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    I would have laughed. But only because I have fallen like that. Many times.
     
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  3. MrFixIt

    MrFixIt Old Jarhead Supporter Bushcraft Friend

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    Ever heard the term "slicker than owl s&%t" ?

    :18:
     
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  4. PMSteve

    PMSteve Old Timey Outdoorsman Supporter

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    Great observation!

    When I rode motorcycles, I'd always be cautious whenever I encountered wet leaves on the roadway, especially on curves. I've skidded on this biohazard more than once. Slippery stuff.

    Steve
     
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  5. Gary V

    Gary V Scout

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    Got to be really careful on wet roads at intersections where the pavement is oily. I took a bad spill on that once. Those big white painted arrows can be bad too - I stayed off them because they get slick as well.

    The red clay of Virginia is my new nemesis. I had a fall just a couple weeks ago on wet clay. I was wearing the wrong footwear for the conditions - rubber Muck shoes.
     
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  6. boomchakabowwow

    boomchakabowwow Guide

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    i think it was a good joke..the delivery was good? the timing? hahah
     
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  7. ReallyBigMonkey1

    ReallyBigMonkey1 Scout

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    I was under assumption that the most slippery substance known to man was moss covered rocks near a stream. And they seem even more slick when a group of fellow trout fishermen are nearby watching you walk on them.
     
  8. MrFixIt

    MrFixIt Old Jarhead Supporter Bushcraft Friend

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    Dry pine needles on a slope...
     
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  9. Red Yeti

    Red Yeti Mostly Harmless Hobbyist Supporter Bushclass I Bushclass II

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    Evidently you've never stepped in a puddle of synovial fluid...;)


    Algae covered rocks in the intertidal zone are my nemesis. Icy moss covered ones are esp bad too...
     
  10. lopie

    lopie Tracker

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    i snickered.

    but lol, another case of sarchasm

    the canyon between the joke teller and the person who doesn't get it
     
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  11. snwcmpr

    snwcmpr Tracker

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    And I am sure the Dr has not stepped in it either. Theory vs Experience.
     
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  12. Outdoor Dauber

    Outdoor Dauber Scout

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    It's those d@#n rotten logs that always get me!!
     
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  13. highlander

    highlander Supporter Supporter

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    You really need a drum roll at the end... that baddamp bump ching! really helps to solidify the joke. It's a lot like me telling a joke about guns and knives at my place of business. Apparently, guns and knives are a no no in the mental health care field...
    I've also been told I have "an aura of negativity" which surrounds me.
     
  14. lopie

    lopie Tracker

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    where I live, those logs make great nests for all kinds of bees, wasps...

    I tell my kids to not step on them, but also look on the other side of a log for a rattlesnake. They just look at me like "why are we out here"?
     
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  15. MJGEGB

    MJGEGB Guide

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    Wet leaves? They've got nothing on wet rocks when fordings streams, creeks, and rivers. Knowing were to step and where not to is a skill all in it's own.

    [​IMG]River Crossing Day One by MJGEGB, on Flickr
     
  16. lopie

    lopie Tracker

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    i've always been afraid of cutting up my foot, so i've always left my boots on. I've bent trekking poles crossing streams like that. I guess I should put my poles on my pack and get some branches instead.
     
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  17. Metaldog

    Metaldog Scout

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  18. cbrianroll

    cbrianroll Professional Tinkerer Supporter

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    That's funny! Our thing here is cedar landscaping at borders at steps....after a couple years of algae growth it's like ice skating
     
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  19. arleigh

    arleigh Guide

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    Nothing ever happens unless some one is watching .
    No fun with out an audience .
     
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  20. central joe

    central joe Supporter Supporter Bushcraft Friend

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    Ya missed a great opportunity young fellar. Ya should have taken him for a hike in the woods uphill, made a video of him falling, then we all could of had a good laugh. Just my opinion. joe
     
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  21. Metaldog

    Metaldog Scout

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  22. dirt7

    dirt7 Scout

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    So who is going to start the thread "Post a photo of your bruises cause by slippery leaves"

    :p
     
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  23. KFF

    KFF Scout

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    But hasn't just about everyone who has butchered game indoors...
    And that isn't that far from surgery conditions...
     
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  24. kronin323

    kronin323 Supporter Supporter

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    Once upon a time a long time ago in a galaxy far far away we had a grocery customer who was piloting some of our hardware in their checkout lane. Lane was still manned like normal, it was just some cash devices that customers would put in their money and get change from instead of the traditional cash drawer. I was babysitting it, seeing how people were getting along with it.

    This one fairly rural guy notices me watching him check out, turns and asks, "can I help you?" (which was him politely asking "why the eff are you lookin' at me?") I briefly explain what's up. That puts him at ease, he thinks the machines are pretty neat.

    But then he said, "next thing you know they're gonna make us wear barcodes on the back of our hands and scan those when we check out and the day that happens I'm gonna go get my gun and shoot everybody here."

    Now, he meant it as a joke, I realized he meant it as a joke, and I took it as a joke. I'm sure he and his buddies make anti-Big Brother jokes like that to each other all the time. But there in a grocery store, not the best idea. The couple behind him in line heard it and took it the wrong way. And there just happened to be a couple of cops taking a break in the store's little deli foodcourt, the wife of the couple went and got them saying a guy was making threats to shoot up the place.

    Luckily in the minute or two it took to retrieve the cops the guy had already collected his groceries, hit the parking lot, and gone on along his way. So it ended there, no harm no foul. I don't think he even realized the stir he caused.

    But it sure was a reminder, be aware of your audience lol...
     
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  25. JohnP

    JohnP No more half measures Supporter Bushcraft Friend

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    A good friend of mine says, “like marbles on concrete”. Townies can probably understand that.

    JohnP
     
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  26. TAHAWK

    TAHAWK Guide

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    Ever step on any politicians?
     
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  27. Metaldog

    Metaldog Scout

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    Try working in a slaughter house. I did that for 6 years. If you don't have a strong stomach, Dramamine and barf bags won't help you much.
     
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  28. Phantom X Chic

    Phantom X Chic Tracker

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    Picture or it didn't happen. Haaaaa!:18:
     
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  29. Phantom X Chic

    Phantom X Chic Tracker

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    I would have laughed. I never understood people who didn't enjoy the outdoors. I guess it's our job (or mine) to inspire them to get out there.
     
  30. Phantom X Chic

    Phantom X Chic Tracker

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    This could seriously be a picture of me, but you've got a beard.
     
  31. KFF

    KFF Scout

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    At one point I seriously considered training into a butcher, but the system here is a bit backward, you need to be hired as one, before you can train to become one. I just chop hobby horses without training then.
     
  32. kronin323

    kronin323 Supporter Supporter

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    I just busted my ass last weekend. Got across a creek, thought the hard part was done, then my next step taught me otherwise.

    I turned back to see my daughter laughing at me, taking another step, and slipping and busting her ass, too.
     
  33. MJGEGB

    MJGEGB Guide

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    That's not me, it's my neighbor on his first backpacking trip. He doesn't have any poles thus the stick. I've never worn boots, but can't stand hiking in wet socks and shoes. Never had problems with my feet being that the rocks and everything else tend to be smooth and round from the water. I've used Crocs for crossings in the past as well. Personally I love my trekking poles for crossings. Only one I've bent was actually rock hopping a shallow crossing while speaking with two other hikers who were easy on the eyes :rolleyes:
     
  34. NattyBo

    NattyBo Supporter Supporter

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    "wet leaves are slicker than ice"
    -my mom-
     
  35. schapm

    schapm Incompetent City Dweller Supporter

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    http://instantrimshot.com/audio/rimshot.mp3
     
  36. Fat Old Man

    Fat Old Man Perpetual Student Supporter

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    Are you positive about that?!? (Heh-heh, heh-heh, heh...I can totally relate.;))
     
  37. TAHAWK

    TAHAWK Guide

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    "A hiking staff turns an unsteady biped into a confident triped." By ?
     
  38. Wesleypipesyo

    Wesleypipesyo Tracker

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    I will see if I can do that.
     
  39. jswi2374

    jswi2374 Woods Bum Supporter Bushclass I

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    Slid down about 40 ft. of wet leaves trying to get this picture. Still have the bruises.
    20181106_114716_HDR.jpg
    That's a little trickle of water in the middle of the picture. Shot taken at about a -30* angle. One hand holding small tree, clinging to side of ravine, camera in hand!
     
  40. 45jack

    45jack Supporter Supporter

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    Tip your waitress, he'll be here all week.
     
  41. BalsamFur

    BalsamFur Not a duck Supporter

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    I learned a new word today. Thank you. :dblthumb:
     
  42. lopie

    lopie Tracker

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    :)

    Is "Not a duck" a reference to Monty Python or ... ?
     
  43. Ascham

    Ascham Supporter Supporter

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    Wet clay and leaves are an awesome combo.
     
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  44. Jim L.

    Jim L. Guide

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    I've stepped in a lot of things: brain, blood, cerebral spinal fluid, amniotic fluid, placenta, feces, vomit, mayo, ...you get tbe picture. Slipped in them all. Nothing, I mean nothing is slicker than south Georgia marsh mud. Swamp water river mud a close second.
     
  45. PACoureurDuBois

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    Instant karma lol
     
  46. Black5

    Black5 Supporter Supporter

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    Gentlemen, may I offer another contender:

    Walk through a cattle feed lot in the rain.
     
  47. TAHAWK

    TAHAWK Guide

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    "'sarchasm'" the canyon between the joke teller and the person who doesn't get it."

    Superior!
     
  48. BalsamFur

    BalsamFur Not a duck Supporter

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  49. anrkst6973

    anrkst6973 Scout

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    Colin Fletcher -"The Complete Walker". Still have a well worn copy on my bookshelf. :)

    Wet pine straw on top of red clay....welcome to Texas..Y'all. ;)
     
  50. scottmm2012

    scottmm2012 Supporter Supporter Bushclass I

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    The algae clinging to a concrete boat launch...I've got a great story but I've been sworn to secrecy by my wife.
     
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