Discussion in 'General Bushcraft Discussion' started by Strngwlkr, Dec 2, 2016.
Reminds me of when I first bought a baitcasting reel
I am hungry enough to eat the ass off a bear. nothing better then a mouth full of bear ass.
Never tried it, must be some kind of delicacy.
first you have to find a blond bear. the thin ones seem to taste better.
How many knots does it take to change a light bulb?
The funny part is I know many of you are now actually considering which and how many knots it would actually take.
For the life of me I couldn't figure out where the proper place to post this would be, so I'll just leave it here:
What's the difference between the boy scouts and the army?
The boy scouts have adult leadership. That's why the army has an infant-ry and not an adult-ry.
(I spent three years in the army starting with infantry school so hopefully I get a little slack in joking abut it)
I guess I mumbled when I told the genie that I wanted to be popular. This is what happened:
Only a person skilled in tree ID will get it...
oh, i wish i was a Populus balsamifera, that is what i really want to be!! lol nice one.
The caption on the picture said Liriodendron tulipifera but I wouldn't know the difference.
I would hope that even those of us not in the Boy Scouts or Army can pass along a funny joke about them.
Whats the difference between the US Congress and a Kindergarten class?
The kindergarten class has better supervision and less whining!
(And I have never taught kindergarten or been a member of Congress)
So I've ben taking these little blue pills for two weeks now and my woodpile is still empty. I don't know what I'm doing wrong...
but bacon does not scream when you set it in a hot skillet.
I would recommend cooking it first.
How many bushcrafters are needed to change a lightbulb?
Two : one to hold the bulb and one to pour in the kerosene.
Whats the world coming to !
This reminded of me a supply guy I worked with in the military. He was the hairiest guy I've ever met, and loved to aggravate people , especially new soldiers. Just picture a 5 ft 6 inch dude shaped like a hairy basketball. His favorite escapade was to get all soaped up in the shower and then run through the barracks screaming "I'm the human loofah! Who's first?" Soldiers running everywhere trying to get out of the way. It sounds stupid now, but when he did that we would laugh until it hurt. Thought someone might get a giggle out of it.
You forgot to chew on a #1 lead pencil afterwards.
A Spam can with a knight on the label just screams Monty Python to me
Not usually a fan of British humor, er, uh humour... but this one got my funny bone for some reason. ( sorry my British peeps )
Last year after seeing me spend a lot of time watching tv, my wife told me to get a hobby. At Christmas, I told her of my new love of bushcraft. She smiled and said, "I can get behind that.' For my birthday this year, she had 200 feet of shrubs put in and gave me a topiary book with the inscription - 'Now you can 'bushcraft' as much as you want'....
What's the difference in the cub scouts and the army? Cub scouts don't have heavy artillery!!
Good Morning Vietnam....
.... Are they edible?
No joke: just ordered (minutes ago) a bunch of herbs and medicinal/edible plant seeds with the main criteria being: do they look good and have nice flowers so my girlfreind will allow me to put them on the front yard...
"Well, there's spam, egg, sausage and spam. That's not got MUCH spam in it...."
I think we'd be those neighbors.
My all-time favorite joke (since we're doing a little military humor in this thread):
I had an uncle who was a Captain in the Salvation Army. He was great at his job but they fired him after he led a sneak attack on a Goodwill
Hell hath no fury like a woman`s scorn !
Not true, now they just prefer Turducken.
Made more sense before I posted it....
Lol I seen this computer game called "Rust" where you start out naked on a beach and have to run off into the wild and basically do primitive skills to survive. Apparently the hardest part isn't crafting all the survival stuff, it's escaping the beach where you first start. You're basically guaranteed to be bludgeoned to death by hordes of naked men with rocks. Basically a violent version of urban bushcraft haha.
??? ??? ???
It was supposed to be a metaphor but it didn't have the effect I expected even on me. SMH
Lost in translation from brain to finger. Sigh
While on holiday camping she sneaks into my tent unnoticed, gently touching each and every bit of my skin until finding the most desirable place, then starts sucking.
Emoticons are evolving:
I got one better! How about the afterbirth off a bastard rat! That's what we say here in the woods.
How about eating the south end of a north bound horse ?
That's illegal everywhere but Wisconsin.