Frustrated!!!!

Discussion in 'Backpacking' started by Buckbuster, Jun 21, 2018.

  1. Buckbuster

    Buckbuster Tracker

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    My buddies from college were huge outdoor nerds. Marriage/kids come along and I can’t get anyone to ever go on a overnight hike/float with my son and me. Getting really really frustrated!!!!!!
     
    Last edited: Jun 21, 2018
  2. GoKartz

    GoKartz Sharpaholic

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    I can’t speak for your friends, but for me it’s more frustrating not be able to get out than it is only being able to get out by myself. I don’t mind solitude in the woods, but I get frustrated how little time in the woods I get.

    Maybe it’s time for some new friends! :)
     
  3. Buckbuster

    Buckbuster Tracker

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    I don’t mind time in the woods by my self. All talk... let’s do this, let’s do that, and when I get a calander out and say let’s make it happen then magically thy are busy till next October, but “Man that trip sounded soooo fun”.
     
  4. Buckbuster

    Buckbuster Tracker

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    I live central Mo and it is so important to me to get my boys in the woods.
     
    Last edited: Jun 21, 2018
  5. Winterhorse

    Winterhorse Supporter Supporter

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    Tell your buddies you’re going and when. Go. Come back. Tell them how much fun it was.
    Eventually they’ll get to thinking about it and one or more of them will want to come along.
     
  6. Vilke

    Vilke Guide

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    Start a thread when you want to plan an outing. I have met some outstanding people on this forum that are ready to hit the woods just about anytime they are asked. If your old friends don't go, so be it but at least you will still get some dirt time with someone to join you.
     
  7. Buckbuster

    Buckbuster Tracker

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    That is a great idea. Come winter I will do that. Good way to get to know y’all.
     
  8. Red Yeti

    Red Yeti Mostly Harmless Hobbyist Supporter Bushclass I Bushclass II

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    Go Solo. My guess is you will never miss them...
     
  9. svh

    svh Supporter Supporter

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    I own land in Montgomery county, Mo., and while I don't have the ground for all day hikes, I have plenty of ground for bushcrafting, and wild camping. What county are you in ?
     
  10. Bobsdock

    Bobsdock Still going Supporter

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    @Buckbuster I'm in barry county Missouri.
    Where are you at ?
     
  11. Wasp

    Wasp Supporter Supporter

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    Then tell your friends about your new friends...the ones that still go in the woods. :)
     
  12. Buckbuster

    Buckbuster Tracker

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    Osage county
     
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  13. rk_az

    rk_az Wandering Supporter

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    What about now? Just sayin'... :)
     
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  14. Bitterroot Native

    Bitterroot Native Indigenous Skills Junkie

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    I can never get anyone to go on trips with me either! I go solo most of the time. Only people that will go with me is my dad on day trips, he sometimes stays overnights, and my young teenage nephews are always down to go for a couple nights in the woods. It would be nice to hit the woods with someone who has a similar level of fitness and woods knowledge/skills but I'll go solo till I find some kindred bushcraft spirits haha.

    I used to take a couple of my city friends on over nighters and 2-3 night trips and it always felt like I was "guiding" them the whole time. Being somewhat new to the outdoors they were a bit like children who needed constant attention. Had to calm them down from noises in the night, make sure they didn't set themselves and the woods on fire, answer constant questions (of the "you think a bear will eat us?" variety) ect. I enjoy teaching bushcraft skills but the times I have taken buddies out it usually feels like babysitting lol.

    It does get frustrating but don't let other people keep you out of the woods!
     
  15. Swampdog

    Swampdog Supporter Supporter Bushcraft Friend

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    EXACTLY!

    Besides, if you have your son with you, that should be plenty of company.
     
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  16. Bobsdock

    Bobsdock Still going Supporter

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    @Buckbuster I'll tag you when we come up with a date for are next meet-up.
     
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  17. Riverpirate

    Riverpirate Supporter Supporter

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    I am always by myself too....when you get old your friends are either to old to go or dead.
     
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  18. CuriousLearner

    CuriousLearner Nemophilist

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    The Meetup app is great for finding hiking groups and outdoors events. I use it from time to time.
     
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  19. Tangotag

    Tangotag Field Gear Junkie Bushclass I

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    That's exactly how people get pregnant. My daughter is my buddy's fault. We were supposed to go camping and fishing...he canceled out and 9 months later.:16:

    Still his fault.;)
     
  20. GreenFrog

    GreenFrog In the Forest Supporter Hardwoodsman Bushclass III

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    Funny...I forgot all about asking those old friends.. now I just invite BCUSA friends.
     
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  21. Phisikos

    Phisikos Scout

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    I'm raising my daughter to be my timing buddy, you already have your son what's the problem?!

    Seriously I do have the same problem, but I also have to put in long range planning to get trips in so the few guys that will go can do the saem. We plans months ahead
     
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  22. svh

    svh Supporter Supporter

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    Heck, you're just a hop, skip, and a spear throw from me. If you and your son ever want to get away for the day, or whatever, PM me.
     
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  23. MJGEGB

    MJGEGB Bushmaster

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    Get out and meet people along the way. I meet a flip flopper doing a PA to GA SOBO, two ladies who were hiking together, and a couple of guys from Baltimore that I ended up having a beer with on my overnighter this past weekend. It was sort of nice not having to stress about anyone else.
     
    Last edited: Nov 22, 2018
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  24. JC1

    JC1 Guide

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    Family first, it'll be better without your friends
     
  25. THRsucks

    THRsucks Guide

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    Tell me about it! All my friends suck now.
     
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  26. gila_dog

    gila_dog Supporter Supporter

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    I saw the same thing happen. Guys get married and the fishing stuff stays hanging in the garage and the motorcycle gets all dusty and won't run any more. Now that I'm old I have a few buddies that still want to go hunting, and there's more time now for sure. Kids and grandkids are all working or going to school or arnen't interested, so any old farts who are still able can go fishing and hunting all they want, as long as they don't mind going alone or are willing to put up with other old geezers. My wife still likes to go camping but it has to be in warm weather and she needs her camp trailer, DVD/TV, kitchen, comfy bed, shower, and LOTS of water
     
    Last edited: Jul 2, 2018
  27. Alex Blain-Laider

    Alex Blain-Laider Tracker

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    Enjoy the time with your son.
     
  28. Moho

    Moho Tinder Gatherer

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    Nothing wrong with those friends, "to each their own" ... You just need some more friends and it seems like you got a few friendly offers.
     
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  29. EternalLove

    EternalLove Guide

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    Work has me in Springfield MO now with time off today and tomorrow most likely.

    It's great weather out here for getting outside for some bushcraft and fishing. I am going to try and get out.
     
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  30. Andy 315

    Andy 315 Supporter Supporter

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    Know exactly how you feel. My buddy who I usually hike and camp with and who is responsible for rekindling my interest is for lack of better wording, unreliable. Has great ideas and has taught me some cool tricks but when it comes to outings we just don't do much. We'll have a easy 1 mile in hike and just kinda hang out. Wants to do some adk peaks but I don't see it happening. So I guess I am going solo.
     
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  31. Black5

    Black5 Supporter Supporter

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    Which needs to be soon. This 3 week whirlwind trip back East has me ready to go again. Wife is talking canoe even harder.:dblthumb:
     
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  32. Bobsdock

    Bobsdock Still going Supporter

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    Canoeing would be sweet brother !
    With all this heat we need to stay near water. Fall is coming.

    3 week whirlwind trip ?
    Your living the dream brother !
     
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  33. Keithturkjr

    Keithturkjr Scout

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    I can definitely see your frustration with this.

    I have found myself on both sides of the before and after of what your talking about. What I havent had to do is tell babies that uncle so and so is coming and watch them get disappointed when he doesn't show up.,....that sucks.

    I think it is a lot easier to get the kids to adjust to new company coming on the camping trip than them getting let down when they dont show up.

    This actually works similarly with oneself in my experience.

    When I invite someone to go camping that might not come. I try to keep myself mentally flexible. I think about alll the cool things I can have on either side of the experience without really committing myself to wanting to do those things until I really know whats going to happen,....that way I can win either way
     
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  34. Ragman

    Ragman Supporter Supporter

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    The fewer the better I say.

    I have one friend that I head out with who's married with 2 kids. He can't get out half as much as I can and that suits me just fine.
    I like going solo 80% of the time and that's pretty much how it shakes out.
    However all the talk and then flaking out isn't cool.
     
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  35. grey mouse

    grey mouse Scout

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    I had the same problem a little over a year ago. I planned, they all thought that it was cool, lets go..we should go..., nope busy, maybe next moth, too cold, too hot, blah blah blah. Finally I had had enough and called each one of them "just to bs". This time when they asked if I wanted to join or do______ this weekend I said sorry I can't I'll be in_____. All of a sudden they acted offended that I didn't invite them and insisted on joining me. When they each found out that I would go without them they suddenly were free ! I have yet to hike alone since.
     
  36. gohammergo

    gohammergo I like sharp things.... Supporter Bushcraft Friend

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    Getting people lined up to do stuff is tough. We ride ATVs a lot. Try to get the inlaws and my stepsons together to ride. No one can agree on a date or a place. And then no one ends up going! :oops:
    Finally I told the crew that we are riding on this date, and this location. WE are riding. If you want to come along, great. If not, we will send pictures. :)

    Didn't do much to help, but we got out riding a lot more. :)

    Same thing with my hiking and camping. I don't have any friends that hike or camp so it's either alone, with family, or stay home. Had some issues with no one wanting to go, so too many times i stayed home. Then I got tired of that and changed things around. Now I ask if anyone wants to come along. If not, I just go alone. :)
     
  37. Soilman

    Soilman Scout

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    I figured out a long time ago, that if I wanted to go fishing, hunting, camping, etc. and was waiting on someone else to go with me,...I would never go. So, I started going solo. I don't have kids, but another thing I've learned is if you are taking a young inexperienced one with you, then the trip needs to be ALL about them (until they know the ropes). Until a kid "learns the ropes", you may not want to bring another adult buddy, because you may have to neglect them in lieu of your son, or even cut a trip short if your son is REALLY insistent on "going home" or uncomfortable, etc. If you do bring a buddy, they need to understand that.
     
  38. HannahT

    HannahT Firebug Hobbyist Supporter Bushcraft Friend Bushclass I

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    I have to do most of my bushcrafting alone too. My work friends are NOT outdoorsy at all (I think they're kind of amused with my bushcrafting). My childhood camping buddy goes on hiking trips with her sister. It's frustrating, but I've come to prefer being by myself. Nobody minds when I stare off into space :) Unfortunately it kind of limits my roaming, and I end up having to stick pretty close to home, but we own quite a bit of farm land so it's okay :)
     
  39. basher1981

    basher1981 Adventure is out there!!! Supporter

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    This is me. I want to go out more but work, new house, kids stuff all are vying for my attention. Ive gotten out more in the past month then i did in the previous 6. My youngest is old enough now to do dayhikes without the need to be carried so that HUGE!! 2019 will be a year spent outdoors more for me and my family. However my friends are a few years behind us in terms of kids with babies so Im jsut glad i got my sons to adventure with
     
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  40. Billofthenorth

    Billofthenorth Tracker

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    I know what you mean. A 4am start and 10 hr drive to hit the trailhead before the park office closes are a total pain when you are doing it by yourself. As a result, I tend to stick close to home now myself. I have a couple of regular hikes that I do often enough that sometimes at work, when I am really bored I'll just daydream each step, imagine the creek crossings (feet slipping on wet logs), the smells and sounds, how my breathing goes up as I climb the inclines, etc. At least I'm able to get out and do it for real every week or so.

    At this point, friends don't even respond to my emails asking if they'd be up for a trip. I just go without mentioning it to them.
     
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  41. Griff4570

    Griff4570 Tracker

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    Enjoy the time with your son you won't regret it. I have 2 boy 18 and 24. They are my hunting fishing buddies. I took them everywhere. Still do. They been on a trapline, behind a pack of hounds and a pointer. We've fished for bookies in tiny streams and pulled crab pots on the coast. Built fires in the rain just for fun. You can't make better memories than time with your children. I have learned so much from them while trying to teach them. Occasionally an uncle will come along, but most of the time it's me and the boys. Doesn't matter if we're picking huckleberries or building a duck blind. Spend the time with your son. The rewards are amazing.
     
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  42. TheWhiteWoodsman

    TheWhiteWoodsman Scout

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    My friends and I don't even have kids but I ended just planning a "solo" trip and telling them all about it well in advance and asking if they wanted to come, not all, but some made it out. Now it's a tradition!
     
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  43. CaliforniaCanuck

    CaliforniaCanuck Guide

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    Peoples priorities change, and you can't blame them or their families. That's life!

    My friends and I are always trying to nail down dates but we only manage to get 2 or 3 trips in per year. Once year we did five!

    Even then that's not enough for me, and the roads into the mountains get closed for winter which further reduces opportunities, so my solution was to get an adventure motorcycle.

    I call it backpacking heavy! It's also a good way to expand your outdoors/adventure network!
     
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  44. Woods Walker

    Woods Walker Rattlesnake Charmer. Bushclass I

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    We used to have a crazy party opening day trout weekend. Used a cabin then drank and fished like crazy. The cabin owned by an older friend (we were all in collage) was lost in a divorce. Soon people got married.... divorced ....etc etc etc. Kids..... time consuming jobs...... Nothing is forever. This is why we need to appreciate the things we do for fun right now. Change can be good or bad but that's life.
     
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  45. LarryB

    LarryB Scout

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    Wow dude! Grab all the time you can with your boy. They will be some of the best times of both your lives. Been there. Awesome stuff. Maybe your wife could try an over niter with y'all. :) lb
     
  46. Mfraser161

    Mfraser161 Tracker

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    Gotta just go your own way. I have two kids (4 month old and 2 year old) , I couldn’t tell you one weekend where there’s not something family orientated planned or happening.
    To get out bush I just have to be willing to go on the drop of a dime when the chance is there or I would never get in the bush if I actually tried to plan it on a calendar.
    The reality is that life is busy for most people and when it comes to keeping a happy wife happy life it’s usually the family that gets priority over anything else.
    Just go your own way , run your own schedule and your buddies will either come around eventually or you’ll stop feeling like you need them to come to make it fun.
     

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