Show me your steak challenge complete.

Discussion in 'General Bushcraft Discussion' started by gohammergo, Feb 11, 2019.

  1. gohammergo

    gohammergo I like sharp things.... Supporter Bushcraft Friend

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    So, I am sure by now that most everyone is aware of the "Show me your steak" deal, to bring awareness to men's mental health. I don't have a YouTube channel of my outdoor adventures, and I was not tagged to do this. I'm going rogue here and doing this on my own. :) Men's mental health is a serious issue, and one that has had an effect on my life.

    So, first, the steak. :) I love tenderloin and my wife just happened to pick up a chunk of it for me. I just happened to have a nice knife that I received from @BradGad awhile ago. What better way to put it to use.

    IMG_20190210_152939178.jpg

    My dad suffered from depression late in life. I think he had issues with it for awhile. His dad died when he was pretty young, and he took care of his family at an age when he shouldn't have had to. He lied about his age and got a job driving a dump truck and building roads when he was 16, so he could send money home to his mom.

    The steak, all sliced up and ready for action.

    IMG_20190210_153147779.jpg

    He was also an alcoholic. He wasn't an abusive one, although later in life he had a rather sharp tongue after a few glasses of wine. More than one night I received phone calls from him late at night, saying that he was going to end it. That's not something a young man should have to go through....., but I would drive out and talk with him and after awhile he was ok. For awhile. He was a good man....but he was hurting inside.

    What is a steak without onions and peppers? Still a good steak, but not AS good.

    IMG_20190210_142120032.jpg IMG_20190210_142358237.jpg

    So, I do know first hand what damage mental health issues can do, both to the person dealing with it, and the family as well. He dealt with his issues the only way he knew how. By either trying to drown them out, or by ignoring them. The support system that might have helped him may have been available, but he didn't know how to ask for it. He was raised in the time when men didn't ask for help.

    I think everyone at times is sad. Bummed out. Depressed. Down. etc. It's a part if life. But, sometimes it can be more than just the blues. And that's when it is time to reach out. And there is no shame in doing so. It's no different than being in a lake and not being able to swim, sometimes you just have to grab a lifeline. Or else you will drown.

    This steak is simmering nicely with the onions and peppers. And I am getting hungry!

    IMG_20190210_153433009.jpg

    I have watched a few of these challenges, and most of what I have seen is about just being aware of issues. I want to kick it up a notch, and say don't just be aware of it, but take action. I have found, for me, that when I start feeling myself sinking, that I need to get up and out and do something. Being self employed allows me a lot of freedom to do the things I want. It can also put an incredible amount of pressure on me. There are times when the weather or other things beyond my control throw my schedule into the toilet. :) I sometimes get overwhelmed by what needs to be done, and how little time I have to do it. When I start to feel that way, it's time to put on the brakes.......that is when I NEED to get out and play in the dirt for a day. I need to reconnect with Mother Earth, and get myself grounded again. If I am no good to myself, I am no good to others either.As males, in the stereotypical roles as leader and providers, we have a responsibility to our families. When there is something wrong with us, we need to work on fixing it. And that is especially true with mental health issues, because that is a "hurt" that often remains hidden, unlike say, a broken arm or some other physical ailment. That is when it is time to reach out. Whether it be a friend, family, church, forum member, or even sometimes just talking to a complete stranger.......sometimes you just need to say it. "I NEED HELP" It isn't a sign of weakness, it's a sign of strength. It takes strength, and it takes courage to reach out. Much more than to not do it.....

    It's time to eat now. Had to have some broccoli too. :) No bacon or sausage tonight. :)

    IMG_20190210_154446282.jpg

    In closing, just a few more thoughts. If you need someone to talk to, there are many forum members here who would be glad to listen to you, both online and on the phone. If you know someone who seems not quite right or their usual self, don't hesitate to ask if things are ok. This goes for you gals out there too. All we really have in the world that matters is each other, let's take as good of care of each other as we can. :)
     
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  2. Logan Woods

    Logan Woods Supporter Supporter

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    Good looking steak and a great cause, I think this is something more people ought to do. Doesn't just need to be a YouTube thing. Thanks for sharing!
     
  3. MisterHoodoo

    MisterHoodoo Supporter Supporter

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    Well said. Thank you.
     
  4. americanstrat98

    americanstrat98 Wanderer Supporter Bushcraft Friend

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    I can only echo what the others have said. Well done, and thanks for sharing.
     
  5. Beach Hiker

    Beach Hiker Traveller Supporter Bushcraft Friend

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    @gohammergo
    Wow. That is an incredible post. Well done.
     
  6. Lee C.

    Lee C. Supporter Supporter

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    What he said.. I could not said it better myself actually...not even close. These days,I see very little interest in men in general. Everyone else has a day,a month or some high dollar organization to represent them or their cause,or gripe or whatever. Men, meh....not so much. Good on ya for lighting this topic up...
     
  7. TX-1948

    TX-1948 Supporter Supporter Bushcraft Friend

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    Great post, thanks for sharing....
     
  8. Primordial

    Primordial MOA #40 Supporter Bushcraft Friend

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  9. vincere

    vincere Scout

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    This is something that I think I struggle with more than I want to admit.

    I wouldn’t say I am depressed or suffer from depression, maybe I do, but don’t want to admit it or talk about it.

    I have made a goal for myself to put myself first this year. Not in a malicious way, but to make sure I take care of myself in all aspects.


    With a new baby on the way in June, I am making sure I am strong. Physically and mentally. I am stuck in my head a lot and I can get hard/down on myself about a lot of aspects in my life...career path, finances, etc

    I want to talk to someone but I let my pride get in the way telling myself I can handle it on my own, and sometimes I can, but sometimes just talking to someone without an opinion would be great, but then pride gets in.

    I am doing good mentally now and have a good friend I can confide in but man is it challenging sometimes
     
  10. MrFixIt

    MrFixIt Old Jarhead Supporter Bushcraft Friend

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    Great post brother.
    I have an extremely difficult time actually talking to anyone about my feelings.
    Maybe I need to look at myself in a new light.
     
  11. gohammergo

    gohammergo I like sharp things.... Supporter Bushcraft Friend

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    Thanks for sharing that. It is hard to admit we need help. It seems for me that the times I really need something is when I have the hardest time finding it.

    I think a big part of the problem is that asking for help is a looked at as a sign of weakness. As men, we don't want to appear weak because of the survival instinct. We don't want anyone to have pity on us. We don't want our families to perceive us as being weak.

    Another thing that I think weighs in here is the we react to others who are struggling. It is instinctual to shun the sick. If you are the foreman on a work crew and are picking your guys for the day, you generally want the strongest, hardiest guys with you. Taking the other guys will slow you down. At least that is the perception of things.

    We need to change the way we feel about someone in need. It's easy to tell someone we will be there for them. It's quite another thing to actually make the time to do it. If you see someone or know someone who is struggling emotionally, sometimes just a few minutes of your time can make a world of difference to a person.
     
  12. bacpacjac

    bacpacjac Supporter Supporter Bushclass I

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    Outstanding post, @gohammergo! Thank you so much for sharing your personal experience with us. As the wife and mother of guys who struggle with mental health issues and asking for help, it heartens me to know that this, frankly, stupid (though I know it's ingrained though generations) stigma may soon be eradicated. Taking care of your mental health in a healthy way, and asking for help when you need it, is NOT weakness, it's strength!
     
  13. gohammergo

    gohammergo I like sharp things.... Supporter Bushcraft Friend

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    Thanks for the kind words @bacpacjac . I have been known to throw a lot of pretty personal stuff out there on the forum, but I have to honestly say that this post pushed me right to the edge of my "comfort zone" ... maybe just a little past it. But, hey, if I can do it, anyone can. :)
     
  14. RavenLoon

    RavenLoon axology student Supporter

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    Excellent post my friend.
     
  15. Broke

    Broke I found my hat! Hobbyist Supporter Bushclass I

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  16. chndlr04

    chndlr04 Guide

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    I appreciate this post very much. i suffer from bipolar and maniac depression. i am willing to talk to anyone who wants to hear my story and is willing to listen to the hard truths of my history. my wife and second child have been a victim of my rage. Ever so brief, the effects are lasting. my wife and i have fought in physical terms, although i did not instigate, i finished it. when when i regain the mental control, its too late; however i have been fortunate to never do any lasting damage or draw blood. my shame and guilt after the events happen is often overwhelming and when i try to talk to someone about it, most dont want to hear it. only one friend in the local area is the one i can go to although he is a former officer, has the training to help me get back in the right state of mind. my fear of it happening again has led me to emotional deattachment which doesnt help being an introvert and depressed. it helps alot when i do find someone who is willing to hear my story. i dont sweep it under the rug. my father died with it under the rug. when i needed help he never pulled it out from under the rug in any way. my mother told me he had the same problems AFTER he died. when i was at my lowest point, i had only one person to confide in that was an employee of mine that i had only known for maybe 6 months at the time, but he was such a huge support that i was able to cope.
    i still struggle daily although i have medication to help. i try to spend time in the woods but its hard when theres work & family.
     
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  17. Sawdustdave

    Sawdustdave Supporter Supporter

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    @gohammergo , thanks for this. My Mom suffered from severe depression, something she passed on to a few of us kids. And, Dad drank, which also followed some of us kids. I got 'em both.

    I've been sober for going on 7 years now, tonight, as it's Monday, I lead a meeting at a State prison for drug/alcohol offenders. I look forward to these, they guys think I'm helping them, but it's really the other way around.

    Lately I've been cooped up in the house too long, with the weather adding to my own anxiety and depression. I don't take medication for it, although I could. I deal with it by heading out as often as I can - hiking, camping, and once the ice leaves, fishing. Nature, especially if I'm by water, has always been a refuge for me, as has my music. I know growing up in a home with depression and alcoholism is not fun, and those who haven't lived like that really cannot understand it. It's great that you posted this.

    I'm willing, as are many, to listen to anyone who's facing issues of depression or substance abuse. Been there. I'm no councilor, just a guy who's walked that road and found a better one - learned to take that "road less traveled". Sadly, I've told my pastors that I'd take calls from anyone from church, but to date, no one has called. I know it's hard to make that call!

    But! If you do make that call! Life can become so much better. I doubt I'd have made it through the loss of my wife without the folks I've met because the Good Lord pushed me into making that call myself. Plus, my kids and grandkids really are happy with the changes they've seen in me.

    So, if anyone feels down, or struggling with life, I urge you to talk to someone! Some battles are better made with friends who care!
     
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  18. bush-hunter

    bush-hunter Scout

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    It's a hard thing to talk about mental health this not a problem people want and if its there may not realize whats going on but here a old pic and tonight's dinner and sorry I liked the porkchop the most!!! 20190211_164213.jpg 20190123_190942.jpg
     
  19. MommaJ

    MommaJ Supporter Supporter Bushclass I

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    Mental health,steak and men.

    Gather enough burley men around and count.

    1 in 5 adults have mental health problems.

    It's more common than cancer but never supported.

    In my life 1 have 7 close guys in my life. 1 untreated for mental health, 1 denies mental health,1 recognizes his mental health as just as valuable as physical health, 1 treated for mental health, and 3 mentally healthy currently.
     
  20. Uncle Duke 520

    Uncle Duke 520 Scout

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    Don't be afraid to let people know what you're feeling, good or bad. It is never an easy trail,
    but we are all on it together. Enjoy...
     
  21. Sawdustdave

    Sawdustdave Supporter Supporter

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    Here's tonight's Supper...
    Steak 2.JPG Cleared the drive and headed to the store this morning for steak... Used my Helle Viking...
    Taters.JPG
    Taters, using my recently purchased KUTT chef knife. It's light, I like it...
    CI Pan.JPG
    Fry pan waiting for the steak. Used the Alton Brown method - two minutes a side, then the oven at 500 for 10 minutes... Taters Onions 2.JPG
    Taters and onions almost done... This "stick free" pan isn't quite, but pretty close. Fleet Farm had a two pack, and so far I like them. Cleans up easy...
    Supper.JPG
    Supper's ready! And...
    Tomorrows Supper.JPG
    There's leftovers!

    Now, today was a good day, even with lots of snow - shoveled twice, and will need one more go. But snowshoed around the neighborhood, and a nice hike tomorrow. Was looking forward to this challenge all day!
     
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  22. theNATIVEONE8

    theNATIVEONE8 Scout Bushclass I

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  23. gohammergo

    gohammergo I like sharp things.... Supporter Bushcraft Friend

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    You did well partner! I have a similar pan, I think it is called Copperwear maybe? Mine works pretty good, but it has to be cleaned as soon as I am done cooking. I keep this in my van for work cooking. I had another that I brought into the house, and it was used and not cleaned a few times, and before long it was no good.
     
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  24. chndlr04

    chndlr04 Guide

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    What happens due to not cleaning it?
     
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  25. gohammergo

    gohammergo I like sharp things.... Supporter Bushcraft Friend

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    Not sure exactly. :) My wife or daughter used it while I was working several times and let it sit without cleaning it.

    Now that I am thinking about it, I bet that they used some kind of metal scratchy cleaning pad on it....
     
  26. chndlr04

    chndlr04 Guide

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    Ahhhhhh. Wife did something like that to my cast iron pan. When I came in home one day, the seasoning was gone on the bottom of the pan.
     
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  27. gohammergo

    gohammergo I like sharp things.... Supporter Bushcraft Friend

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    Ah yes. :) Wives and cast iron. We all have our favorite pans for cooking here. Mine never, ever, soak in hot soapy water. My pans are one of the only things I am "anal" about. :) When I cook with my iron, as soon as I am done eating, I clean the pan with hot water and a gentle scrub, put on stove to dry, and give it a light coat of oil while still warm. Same with the copper pan. My stainless I'm not so picky about, BUT, I have found that if I take care of it just like my cast iron, it does become kinda non stick. :) I don't think it actually gets "seasoned" but I think the light costing of oil helps.

    Edit to add: My wife never used to be a pan soaker. She used to do it the same way i still do. Not sure what the deal is with that.?
     
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  28. Sawdustdave

    Sawdustdave Supporter Supporter

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    I can never season cast iron. I've sanded down to bare metal, heated, oiled, baked, repeated. Over and over again. Still cannot get them to be right. Hence the other pans... Character defect?
     
  29. chndlr04

    chndlr04 Guide

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    The best seasoning is bacon. Don't wipe it clean. Just warm it up and dump the excess then put in more bacon.
     
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  30. gohammergo

    gohammergo I like sharp things.... Supporter Bushcraft Friend

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    This morning I made hash browns for breakfast. I dug out my square Wagner Ware cast iron. Warmed it up and gave it a little wipe with a dry rag. Threw a little butter in the pan, fried up the browns with some bacon and red peppers. Added cheese and let it melt. When I was done eating and the pan was cool, I put it in the sink, ran some hot water in it, and wiped it out with a wet rag. This is what it looks like just before I dry it.

    IMG_20190213_111106406-540x960.jpg

    I dry it out, put it on the woodstove to warm up and add a little corn oil and wipe it around. Then I leave it there for awhile and let it cool down.

    IMG_20190213_111101980-540x960.jpg

    When I cook with it, I always warm the pan up slowly and wipe it out with a dry rag before using it.

    I think too, that a mistake a lot of people make, is to use too high of heat in cast iron. I have found that too much heat, and getting distracted :), causes food to burn and usually stick then.
     
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  31. Dualsport225

    Dualsport225 Scout

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    I'm just gonna chime in about the cast iron. I've got a little cast pan and a one burner hot plate on my desk at work for breakfast. At least 3 times a week is sautéed onions and then scrambled eggs in with 'em. I might wash it by lunchtime, and it gets soap and a scotchbrite pad every time. Breakfast slides out and the thing looks like it's factory new.

    I've been abusing the thing like this for probably 5 years.

    I think all that's helping it is the fact that it's an OLD piece and glass smooth. No markings on it except a "5" at the base of the handle.

    On the mental health aspect, I luckily have no experience (I think?).
     
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  32. gohammergo

    gohammergo I like sharp things.... Supporter Bushcraft Friend

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    I wonder if maybe as the stuff sits in there, maybe some of the grease soaks in? I guess cast iron stuff is all different too, because any time I have used soap, it's not been good. :)
     
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  33. mtnoutdoors

    mtnoutdoors Prov 27:17 Supporter

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    I know with all my health stuff going on I have lots of mental health stuff as well. The videos of the show me your steak challenge has help me out and got me to talk with my Dr. about it as will. And the Bushcraft Family has also help me out as well.
    Prov 27:17
     
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  34. boomchakabowwow

    boomchakabowwow Guide

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    You all are gonna have to wait for v-day tomorrow before I put heat to meat. (Lamb steaks - tiny ass t-bones to be exact)

    But mental illness is a big deal. I once wondered if I was sick. I called my doc and she sent me to a group workshop. It was pretty awesome. I learned what depression was and the signs. It was a six week once a week meeting to talk and listen. I learned I was just temporarily sad,but not depressed. Big difference.

    I thought about sitting in on the anger management sessions :)

    I told everyone I was going to the classes. No shame. It felt wrong to hide it. I just talked about it like it was no big deal.
    Convinced a family member to talk to someone in the process.

    Get help if needed folks. Just knowing you’re not alone in this was huge for the classmates.
     
  35. Guttersnipe

    Guttersnipe Supporter Supporter

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    I've looked around quite a bit for any help for men with depression.
    Meetups, support groups, etc.
    I find it very sad there is very little support for men at all.
    No matter how I word it, google does not even auto-complete searches for such things.
    In my eyes, that alone shows two things.
    First of all, how few men look for help.
    Second, and more sad, how few actually care.
    This, in my opinion, is why most men deal with it themselves.
    Or don't deal with it at all by checking out.
    In my opinion, society as a whole, does not care about men. We are disposable assets to be utilized until our usefulness is done, and then discarded.
    Case in point, I have three children. My two youngest are twins, boy and girl.
    In a few years they will both turn eighteen. On that day, my little girl will be eligible for any government job, scholarships, grants, what have you, and will be granted the right to vote.
    My son, on the other-hand will have to earn this privilege by registering with selective services for the draft to put his life on the line.
    Being a man in this country in the last couple decades has become a thankless position to be in.
    So thank you for participating in the steak challenge. It shows men like me that there is still hope.
    -Hope is a good thing, maybe one of the best things, and no good thing ever dies.- "Andy Dufresne, Shawshank Redemption"
     
  36. gohammergo

    gohammergo I like sharp things.... Supporter Bushcraft Friend

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    I really want to thank everyone for the positive reaction to this thread. I have had a few guys reach out to me and I have great respect for that. We have to look out for each other. :) Life can be tough. Sometimes it really sucks. Sometimes it feels like we are just sinking in the mud. But the darkness can be beat, or at least pushed back. :)
     
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  37. boomchakabowwow

    boomchakabowwow Guide

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    there is no better advocate to our health issues than ourselves.

    i think the resources are there, but we have to ask for them. best of luck.
     
  38. vincere

    vincere Scout

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    The thing I started doing is just being honest with myself and my wife, and letting go of the pride that stopped me from asking/talking about it before

    I have made it a point in our relationship to be honest in every aspect of our life. We talk about everything, (still picking to choose battles) from sex, work, feelings, what’s bothering us( pick your battles). But it had helped us tremendously and me even more knowing I can talk to her about feeling sad and beat down.

    I don’t think I am depressed, but sometimes suffer from temporary sadness like another in this thread mentioned. The issue could be though, how long the “temporary” is. Sometimes temporary for me is a day, sometimes it could be a week I feel in a funk.

    I, again, made it a point this year to become strong both mentally and physically. I’m 31 and have my whole life ahead of me and the last thing I want to do is limit myself about things that, in the big picture, don’t matter as much as I make them.

    If someone needs to talk, I am always available. I have turned into my “own” objective therapist it seems and have gotten pretty wise in my young age


    Take care everyone. Always know that someone cares.

    VP
     
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  39. Sawdustdave

    Sawdustdave Supporter Supporter

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    Before I realized I had severe depression and anxiety - confirmed by my doctor - and stopped self medicating myself with whiskey I didn't realize I was not the only person who felt like I did. Those pesky things called "feelings" were foreign to me. Oh, I had 'em, but had never been taught by my family how to deal with them. After 6 years sober, some councelling when needed, etc, I still am learning. It's not the feelings/emotions that are the problem, it's how I react to them.

    My past, using antidepressants for the depression and the bottle to solve life's problems, only exacerbated the issues. Almost cost me my family. Today, though, I even get to babysit my grandkids and take 'em fishing!

    I was under the weather Sunday, didn't see my eldest and her family at church. She told me my grandson missed me! Hey, life CAN get better!

    Call, talk, question, beg if you have to. Folks, there IS help out there!
     
  40. boomchakabowwow

    boomchakabowwow Guide

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    you are wise beyond your young years!!! well done!!
     
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  41. vincere

    vincere Scout

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    I guess I shall post a steak!

    This is a grass fed strip steak, mashed taters and garlic peas.

    A work friend a few years ago told me “the only way to eat a steak” is to put hot sauce on before you cook it. I looked at him like he was crazy, but tried it and haven’t cooked one without it since


    35E5C2D6-D9D2-4AF6-B894-9A29DF447004.jpeg 181E4ED6-1AA3-4C0B-86A3-D9E9055BDD05.jpeg 16077659-BDDC-4629-B213-EE7B1C688A9F.jpeg 1DAE05AA-D816-4DF6-A467-F9029FB59556.jpeg 6FF25548-DAB4-4511-BF73-5D33E2B25F25.jpeg

    Pretty dang good if I say so myself.

    VP
     
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  42. gohammergo

    gohammergo I like sharp things.... Supporter Bushcraft Friend

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    That is a meal that is truly fit for a king! Well done. You, not the steak. :)
     
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  43. mongo

    mongo Scout

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    Well, I think... this pic is appropriate for here. P1012438.JPG
     

    Attached Files:

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