Smoke and prayers please

Discussion in 'Prayers & Smoke' started by MommaJ, Jan 2, 2019.

  1. adkwalker

    adkwalker Supporter Supporter

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    Prayers for you and your family.
    Kevin
     
  2. Skruffy

    Skruffy Supporter Supporter Bushcraft Friend

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    So sorry to hear, sending smoke @MommaJ
     
  3. gohammergo

    gohammergo I like sharp things.... Supporter Bushcraft Friend

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    Oh girl! I feel so bad for you right now @MommaJ . So much pain. Wish there was something I could do to help you other than just tap out some words on my phone.....

    You are blessed to have folks like this in your life. I would have given anything to have had grandparents like you describe.

    Take care of yourself and be strong. I am not a religious person but I will be praying for you tonight.
     
  4. piney

    piney Bushwhacker

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    Prayers sent.
     
  5. Merk3030

    Merk3030 Supporter Supporter

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    Praying for you and your family @MommaJ we have a candle burning for you all.
     
  6. MommaJ

    MommaJ Supporter Supporter Bushclass I

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    Hitting the road tommorrow morning for an emotional trip.
    My grandpa has now requested we come, my grandma has made it longer than the doctors expected. They have no clue why but my grandpa believes she is waiting for last goodbyes. If she is not hallucinating she is sleeping.
    Then on Saturday we are heading to visit my grandma in pa so she can meet my kids. I just found out she fell last week outside on the back deck and laid there for several hours until she could get herself back inside.
    I am barely hanging in there. 1 minute I am my normal self and the next minute I am a sobbing mess. Ray has been Mr Mom yesterday and today but is unable to leave Pop and cannot go with me this weekend. My Mom is coming but she is a wreck as well.
     
  7. Harper

    Harper Supporter Supporter

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    Is public transportation an option?

    Do you have a friend who would be willing to drive?

    You can't become a mess behind the wheel. Ditto for Mom.
     
  8. NevadaBlue

    NevadaBlue —- Roughian #7 -— --- Graybeard -— Supporter Bushcraft Friend Bushclass I

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    Yes, please, if you can get a friend to drive at least. You and your Mom need to support each other.
     
  9. 45s_Forever

    45s_Forever Supporter Supporter

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    Prayers sent MommaJ. Safe travels.
     
  10. Midwest.Bushlore

    Midwest.Bushlore Supporter Supporter Bushcraft Friend

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    She sounds like a wonderful woman, @MommaJ! I sincerely hope you're able to get there in time for her to meet the kids and say goodbye.
     
  11. MommaJ

    MommaJ Supporter Supporter Bushclass I

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    We don't have another way to get down there but we both agreed that if we start crying we pull over until it passes. Normally both her and I are good at putting our emotions on a shelf until we can break down in private. So the hope is that we can make it there without breaking down. The kids should be a good distraction from the hurt.
     
  12. NevadaBlue

    NevadaBlue —- Roughian #7 -— --- Graybeard -— Supporter Bushcraft Friend Bushclass I

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    Be careful. Our prayers will follow you.
     
  13. Harper

    Harper Supporter Supporter

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    Then travel safe.

    Go with God.
     
  14. T. Pollock

    T. Pollock T's Custom Outdoor Gear Vendor Supporter Bushcraft Friend Bushclass I

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    Amen.
     
  15. Bonekrakker

    Bonekrakker Not a chiropractor Supporter

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    God be with you all MommaJ.
     
  16. gohammergo

    gohammergo I like sharp things.... Supporter Bushcraft Friend

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    Be safe @MommaJ . You will have a lot of spiritual support riding with you on your journey.
     
  17. Fixedblade

    Fixedblade 3% Supporter

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  18. Snakeshooter

    Snakeshooter Supporter Supporter

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    So sorry for your loss! Praying for you and your family!!
     
  19. CSM1970

    CSM1970 Guide

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    Prayers sent, MommaJ!
     
  20. blind & lost

    blind & lost Supporter Supporter Bushcraft Friend

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    Prayers for travel mercies, strength, and endurance. Please be safe @MommaJ.
     
  21. Octavian

    Octavian Scout

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    Safe travels and much smoke in this hour of need!
     
  22. TX-1948

    TX-1948 Supporter Supporter Bushcraft Friend

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    Prayers lifted for you and your family....
     
  23. riverrunner

    riverrunner Scout

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  24. 66drifter

    66drifter Guide

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  25. MommaJ

    MommaJ Supporter Supporter Bushclass I

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    Thank you everyone. Im back home with a much lighter heart.
     
  26. Midwest.Bushlore

    Midwest.Bushlore Supporter Supporter Bushcraft Friend

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  27. blind & lost

    blind & lost Supporter Supporter Bushcraft Friend

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    Glad you had a safe trip @MommaJ.
     
  28. wingnuts

    wingnuts Hunter/Gatherer Provider/Protector Supporter

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    Prayers offered up on your behalf
     
  29. Caveman Cracker

    Caveman Cracker Supporter Supporter

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    From my family to your family..
     
  30. MommaJ

    MommaJ Supporter Supporter Bushclass I

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    All day I have been receiving thank you texts from family who I never gave my number to. Why, because I yelled at my dying grandma.

    On Thursday when we walked into visit she was refusing to eat and just lying there so being about how she didn't want to die. So I sternly told her that I know but her parents are waiting in heaven to see her. Which made her start crying more because she didn't want to leave me. So I yelled at her. I told her well I am here now with my kids to see the positive, up beat I can conquer anything grandma who taught me to live with abandon and to keep my head up no matter how much it hurts.

    Then a small miracle took place, she asked for her dentures and her wheelchair.(she had not been out of bed for a week) So my aunt and I got her upright and lifted her into the wheelchair and went to the visiting room where my kids were waiting. We has her lunch blended into a smoothie and she drank 1/2 of it. An aid came in to tell us they needed the room for therapy and mentioned we head to a different room that would be available for an hour.

    So off we went to the next room. Emma was eyeballing the piano so we shelled my Grandma over to Emma(my grandma use to be a 3rd grade teacher and played the piano. Then a miracle took place that had everyone crying. My grandma started crying that she missed the piano and forgot how to play it(its been at least 10 years since she played).So again I yelled at her. I told her Emma doesn't care about the right notes all she cares about it the melody. My grandma looked at me and said you need to know chopsticks in order to know the melody. And then she started playing and teaching Emma how to play chopsticks.

    Then once again they needed the room and my grandma said she was tired. So we tucked her in and headed out for dinner

    The next day she slept in until noon and we left to head to Pa. My grandpa said that she refused to eat or get out of bed on Saturday. On Sunday her daughter was heading down to visit and ny Grandpa did like I did when she woke up crying and refusing to eat. He yelled at her and said she was going to break her daughter's heart acting like this then he left the room. When he came back 10 minutes later she was demanding to get her teeth in and to drink her breakfast. She spent 4 hrs with her daughter and didn't cry over even when an aid transferred her to a wheelchair.

    Today my Grandpa sent me a picture of her sitting up on the therapy table because my grandpa yelled at her that he was hurting from trying to help her sit up and that her other daughter can't risk being hurt so soon after surgery to fix her shoulder. So my grandma asked the physical therapist to help her sit on her own.

    She is dying but she is now longer giving up. All because I yelled at her and taught her family that it was okay to yell at a dying woman.

    It's been such an emotional month. Between Autumn coming home, Pop falling, me blowing my back out picking him up, my Grandma and such that my give a damn broke. I yelled at her because I had enough of everything, I yelled at her because she use to tell me that no matter how much I yelled she would not get mad at me because sometimes you need to just yell and get it out. I yelled at her because I was mad that she was just giving in to the fear and the depression that she told me I had to fight through.
     
  31. Skruffy

    Skruffy Supporter Supporter Bushcraft Friend

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    You are strong, for yourself, and for your family. I am not religious @MommaJ , but tonight I pray for you and your family. May your love endure.
     
    Last edited: Jan 7, 2019
  32. Beach Hiker

    Beach Hiker Traveller Supporter Bushcraft Friend

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    Rough times.
    You're in my thoughts. Sending smoke.
     
  33. gohammergo

    gohammergo I like sharp things.... Supporter Bushcraft Friend

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    She is lucky to have you @MommaJ !
     
  34. blind & lost

    blind & lost Supporter Supporter Bushcraft Friend

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    Great post @MommaJ, thanks for the update. Prayers.
     
    MommaJ and Jonah L. Archer like this.
  35. bacpacjac

    bacpacjac Supporter Supporter Bushclass I

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    MASSIVE CYBER SOUL HUG!! I have no eloquent words, just smoke prayers, and a toast to you, your grandma and your clan. Deep breaths and much strength, my friend!
     
  36. Metaldog

    Metaldog Just chasing my tail... Supporter Bushcraft Friend

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    Be glad you are receiving messages of thanks vs. anger. Hold your head high. You did the right thing. Prayers continued for you, @MommaJ.
     
  37. MommaJ

    MommaJ Supporter Supporter Bushclass I

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    My Grandma in Virginia passed away today at noon.

    I told my son and he walked out of the house to play basketball.

    I told my daughter and she walked into the kitchen to make a run to smoke a pork loin

    I have not told Emma yet,she is at a play audition.

    I'm gonna take a little bit to pull my kids together

    Then I have to live fully as per my Grandpa and Grandma .
     
  38. Harper

    Harper Supporter Supporter

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    I'm sorry for your loss.

    Prayers continue for you and your family.
     
    NevadaBlue, MommaJ, Octavian and 2 others like this.
  39. pellegrino

    pellegrino Much to learn... Supporter Bushcraft Friend

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    Prayers for peace and comfort for you & your family, MommaJ.
     
  40. blind & lost

    blind & lost Supporter Supporter Bushcraft Friend

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    Sorry for your loss. Prayers of peacefulness for your family.
     
  41. Jonah L. Archer

    Jonah L. Archer Guide Bushclass II

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    Sorry for your loss...
     
  42. Staleym

    Staleym Supporter Supporter

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  43. Paul Foreman

    Paul Foreman Supporter Supporter

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    What a fine epitaph, mommaj. You are blessed beyond understanding to have had such a grandmother. Comfort and peace, sister ...
     
  44. Octavian

    Octavian Scout

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    “Those we love don’t go away, they walk beside us everyday.” – Unknown

    Much smoke.
     
    NevadaBlue, MommaJ, rsnurkle and 2 others like this.
  45. 66drifter

    66drifter Guide

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    you have your marching orders young lady

    don't let them down

    my heart is with you
     
  46. Midwest.Bushlore

    Midwest.Bushlore Supporter Supporter Bushcraft Friend

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    I'm sorry for your loss but I'm heartened to hear that your grandma found some measure of her dignity and zest for life in the last days.
     
  47. MountainWanderer

    MountainWanderer Scout

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    Prayers & smoke sent for your Grandma, you, and your family
     
  48. TX-1948

    TX-1948 Supporter Supporter Bushcraft Friend

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    Sorry for your loss....Proud of you for the strength of character and love you have shown your family....Prayers continue for you and your family.
     
    Last edited: Jan 12, 2019
  49. rsnurkle

    rsnurkle Supporter Supporter Bushclass I Bushclass II

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    @MommaJ I'm so sorry for your loss, and on top of everything else. My hopes are with you to keep living life fully, and to have memories of this wonderful woman to help you and your family for now and forever.
     
  50. MommaJ

    MommaJ Supporter Supporter Bushclass I

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    Thank you everyone.
    I've been floating between 3 emotions lately sad,angry,and happy.

    I am blessed that my son's girlfriend threw him a surprise birthday party for him yesterday. To hear my kids laughing was great

    Fridy though I was snapping at my poor husband for taking Tuesday off work for the funeral.

    I came on here earlier and cried when I saw my knitting post bumped to the top. The last thing my Grandma gave me was a knitted blanket she never finished and asked if I could please finish it for her.

    My grandma's burial is on Tuesday and my daughter needs to be back to school by the 21st.

    It's taken me by surprise how hard this is hitting me. Normally I am the rock when someone passes and this time I am the quicksand.
     

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