Stupid Questions?

Discussion in 'General Bushcraft Discussion' started by PMSteve, Jun 8, 2018.

  1. Stone

    Stone Supporter Supporter

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    I once had a coworker...a professional no less...ask me what state Delaware was in.

    For a bright answer, nothing beats the Army ER room person checking in my mom. She had been bit by a spider and after killing it, had it in a tissue so it could be identified in case it was poisonous. She showed it to the guy in ER and he said, "Sorry Ma'am, I can't help him. He's dead." Of course it was the middle of the night...
     
    Last edited: Jun 9, 2018
  2. Beach Hiker

    Beach Hiker LB 42 Supporter

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    Many years ago my wife and I were on the overnight train from Montreal to New York. (My wife is Polish, with a Polish passport).
    We get to the US border. A border guy is checking passports and asks our travel plans. We say New York to Warsaw. He says to my wife: "But you don't have a Polish visa!".
    We tried everything to explain to him that you don't need a visa for your own country, but he was having none of it.

    He pointed out the wide range of visas she had, and said with glee:"Ha! You have all these visas but NO Polish visa".
    He was about to throw us off the train when one of his colleagues intervened. Wow.
     
  3. Beach Hiker

    Beach Hiker LB 42 Supporter

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    Sorry, but one more (and sorry again because I told it elsewhere).

    My local farm store.
    A lady walks in and asks: "Do you have something that kills pests?"
    The guy behind the counter says: "Sure. What do you want to kill?"
    Lady: "Everything!"
     
  4. Avohei

    Avohei Scout

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    Not sure i can personally ask a stupid question. If i have a question i ask it. I'm not afraid of admitting that i don't know something and need another's input.

    Asking a question is not the same as offering advice to a question which can be silly. Those can make for great laugh out loud moments.
     
  5. haunted

    haunted Guide

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    in class for automotives we discussed racing innovations that became standard such as the rear view mirror after about 30 minutes a "student" asked whats a rear view mirror?
    this was common from him sadly .......yes he passed the course yes he worked at a dealer yes he glued most of his fingers together with superglue and had to be taken to the hospital and yes sadly i actually became stupider from knowing him
     
  6. 1911srule

    1911srule Guide

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    My EX wife while driving in the country..." How do the deer know to cross at the deer crossing signs?" Later on it was other things like" I don't know why the bank is charging us. This after she wrote $800 worth of checks on $500 balance. "But I still have CHECKS!".....
     
    Last edited: Jul 25, 2019
  7. doanehead

    doanehead Scout

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    Dumb girl I used to work with asked someone (on the phone during casual conversation) when they planted hay, presumably after they had stated they had been cutting hay recently.
     
  8. Zunga

    Zunga Bushmaster

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    Not quite the theme of the post. My father walked into the hardware store years ago. He spotted a new guy at the counter. Dad never missed a opportunity for a little fun. He walked up to him and said. "Looks like you don't have the fence post holes I need. Do you have them in your catalogues?" The rest of the counter staff said nothing. Just let him rifle books and apologize for not finding them. LOL
    Cheers Jim
     
  9. MaineFlyfishingGuide

    MaineFlyfishingGuide Tracker

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    From my days as a Boatswains Mate in the US Coast Guard “ Why is the pier higher than when we left?”
     
  10. Stone

    Stone Supporter Supporter

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    As some of my reenacting buddies have heard, "is that a real fire?"
     
  11. AdamD1776

    AdamD1776 Scout

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    While working at a hardware store, I was once asked by a customer where the nuts for wood screws were... After explaining that those don't exist, I was told in a matter-of-fact tone that our competitor across town sold them, and that I clearly didn't know what I was talking about. The customer ended up finding a nut that jammed onto the wood screw she brought, and was convinced that she proved me wrong. So I just let her buy them. I always wonder if somewhere out there, there's a DIY project with a bunch of nuts jammed onto wood screws, or if the lady finally figured out that the two don't actually go together...
     
  12. marbleman

    marbleman Supporter Supporter

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  13. Beard-O

    Beard-O Tracker

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    So for one of our epic outings @Primordial and I packed up our gear, threw our kayaks into my truck and headed out to a local lake to spend four days on an island. We arrived at the lake and off loaded our kayaks. We then proceeded to take multiple trips back and forth to my truck unloading gear and reloading it into our kayaks to include placing packs on our laps in the cockpits. The whole time this guy is watching us with a quizzical look on his face. As we shove off and paddle past the dock he is standing on he asks "Hey, you guys goin' camping?" To which @Primordial responds as nonchalantly as you could ever imagine "Nope" and we slipped off toward the island. It took everything in me not to bust out laughing. I wonder what gears started grinding and breaking in his head trying to figure out what we were doing as he watched us paddle off across the lake.
     
  14. Foulwind

    Foulwind Guide

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    My early days on the USS Virginia, we messed with the FNG's all the time with "Go get me the whale boat keys" or get to the locker and grab a roll of "Flight line" While in boot camp during classes everyone was schooled about using the whale boat, that they ALL have push button start.
     
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  15. americanstrat98

    americanstrat98 Wanderer Supporter Bushcraft Friend

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    I found her twin. A customer brought me a Remington 1100 shotgun with a scope mounted to it. It was having trouble staying zeroed. Upon further examination he was using brass wood screws to attach the scope base to the receiver. :rolleyes::42:
     
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  16. LongChinJon

    LongChinJon Supporter Supporter

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    "Everyone but you will be."
     
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  17. squishware

    squishware Troubleshooter Supporter

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    When I first got out of HVAC school I worked for a commercial/industrial mechanical contractor. Things got slow in HVAC Service and they loaned me out to the Pipefitters for 6 months. After about two weeks being a pipefitters helper (green as grass) one of the guys starts screaming for me to get the pipe stretcher so i am going around the site asking anyone and everyone where the pipe stretcher is.
     
  18. S.Decker

    S.Decker Supporter Supporter

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    I'd have given him the lighter, then run like hell.
     
  19. JasonJ

    JasonJ Supporter Supporter

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    "No, for you we are going to use Nerf darts."

    I get on people's asses all the time up north (that's what we Michiganders call going out in the woods, even if we drive south to get there), they complain about all the dirt, oak pollen, leaves and crap getting into the cottage, or on the porch... I constantly remind them that we are in the middle of a pine and oak forest in Northern Michigan, alongside Lake Huron... it's called nature, and if it bothers them that much, I suggest they stay home in the concrete and steel, asphalt and paved city that they clearly so badly desire. Why are you even here?

    And don't get me started on the ruckus that ensued a few weeks ago when a black bear mama and 2 cubs strolled through people's yards up there... well, yeah, they were here before people were, they weren't going to just leave after refusing to pay property taxes on lakefront lots or something. As if bears were not common in the wilderness or something.

    City people... ugh.
     
  20. salty dog

    salty dog Supporter Supporter

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    A friend worked as a chef for a while, and ran in to the Quarter problem. She was an engineer mostly, so she thought everybody knew what a quarter cup would be. It was partly lack of education and partly second language, but she explained that it was half of a half cup and that fixed the problem.

    Others:
    Coming in the door almost dripping and hear "is it raining?"
    Heard somebody ask a Ranger on the Blue Ridge Parkway, "Do they have to put so many turns in the road?"
     
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  21. Zunga

    Zunga Bushmaster

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    The same lumberyard a coworker was asked by a customer. "Do you have 2x4's without knots?" Reply. "Have you ever seen a tree without branches?"
    Cheers Jim
     
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  22. AdamD1776

    AdamD1776 Scout

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    Here's the thing with that question. Its definitely valid, in that one can buy "appearance" grade lumber without knots, because it is cut from areas of the tree that don't have branches. However, 2x4's are generally not knot free, because you never see them (at least when they are used as intended; for framing), and so the better wood is used for the more expensive "appearance" lumber, and the parts with knots are used for framing lumber. So overall, I wouldn't say its a stupid question, just wishful thinking
     
  23. PMSteve

    PMSteve Old Timey Outdoorsman Supporter

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    It's actually not that stupid of a question, especially from someone who's never been around the ocean and knows nothing about tidal movement. It really lends itself to some inventive answers from someone who has a quick wit.

    Steve
     
  24. jjwint

    jjwint Tracker Banned

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    I've had several adults ask me why the temperature gets colder when you climb a mountain, because, after all . . . aren't you getting closer to the Sun?

    My favorite question of all time was sitting on top of a tank turret under a blazing Sun during some training at Fort Knox. The man next me asked me if I wanted some ass water.

    I said "what?"

    Ass water. Do you want some ass water.

    Finally, I figured out that he was offering me a drink out of his water jug because he had filled it up with ice cubes . . . . .
     
  25. MAD Punty

    MAD Punty Supporter Supporter

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    Not a question, but a story about customer service;

    In my work, I buy stuff for my company. I placed an order that was a priority, to be shipped next day air for delivery the following day. These things have cutoff times for the order to ship out same day, so I call to make sure the order gets processed.

    This particular time, I placed the order around 10AM, and knew the cutoff for same day shipping was 11AM, so after faxing in the order, I call. I get put on hold. I set the phone on the receiver while on hold, so it goes on speaker. When I do that at work, the phone tracks the time of the call, so there is a timer displayed.

    I wait...and I wait...and I wait....15 minutes goes by...then 30 minutes....then an hour...finally, an hour and 7 minutes later, someone picks up the phone. This is how the conversation went;

    Customer Service Girl: "Hello, can I help you?"

    Punty: "Do you know I have been on hold for over an hour?"

    CSG: "I'm sorry sir, we were in a meeting.'

    Punty: "The whole company was in a meeting?"

    CSG: "Yes, sir."

    Punty: "What was the meeting about?"

    CSG: "Customer Service."

    True Story. I swear it.
     
    Last edited: Jul 25, 2019
  26. CSM1970

    CSM1970 Supporter Supporter

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    38101254-861C-4602-BEE0-3D114EC9923A.jpeg I was accompanying a senior USGS geologist on a field trip for office people and our first stop was the I-70 road cut outside of Golden, CO. The road cut is full of fossil bones and very large foot prints. All of this in rock beds that had been uplifted to about 45 degrees millions of years ago. The geologist pointed out the foot prints, tracking up across the sloping beds, estimated their age and guessed at what dinosaur made them. He then asked for questions or comments. One of the sweet little old ladies said she was impressed that the dinosaur could maintain traction when he climbed the mountain. Without losing his composure, the geologist explained that when the prints were made, the ground was flat. The lady looked confused and disappointed.
     
    Last edited: Jul 25, 2019
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  27. ozarkhunter

    ozarkhunter Guide Vendor

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    Years ago and late at night I was in a taco bell restaurant with friends. I was low on funds, so when I got to the counter, I told the young man - "I would just like a large Dr. Pepper." His response was "will that be for here or to go?"

    Different trip, same friends... We stop in a convenience store in the Tulsa, OK area. I favor myself as a bit of a beef jerky connoisseur, and was looking at some jerky brands that I had not seen before. The clerk noticed me looking at the jerky and commented "that's made out of Glenpool." Knowing what she meant (Glenpool is a town south of Tulsa), but being a bit of a smart aleck at times, I responded, "is that anything like beef?" She was unable to respond...
    [​IMG]
     
  28. Unistat76

    Unistat76 Nerd Supporter Bushclass I

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    I don't know about the state you were in, but in some states that is a legit question. Some states charge a sales tax on dine in food but not food from a grocery store. Getting food "to go" at a fast food place means the sales tax doesn't apply.
     
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  29. ozarkhunter

    ozarkhunter Guide Vendor

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    I doubt his "deciferer" ran that deep. I'm thinking he wanted to know if he needed to put my cup on a tray.
     
  30. AdamD1776

    AdamD1776 Scout

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    My guess is the computer wanted to know to complete the order
     
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  31. Toytech

    Toytech Scout

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    Well the one I get at work all the time from my fellow techs that drives me nuts is , how do I replace (insert a part name here) ? We have a multi million dollar online repair manual written by the finest Japanese robots, with pretty pictures and everything and yet they wander around hoping I can do better . Ive since come up with the "process" Step 1 take it out , step 2 put the new one in , if you get these 2 steps correct all other steps are superfluous . Now the question i have yet to find an answer to and have to ask myself probably too often is " why do the things that happen to stupid people keep happening to me?" If anyone can solve that one for me id be grateful .
     
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  32. RangerWeaver

    RangerWeaver Woodloafer Supporter

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    A question I get asked everyday at work by a sales associate. But first backstory - I work as an auto mechanic and I have paperwork that I will out with notes about every vehicle I work on, but unlike other techs I go into full detail.
    Even after I write everything down I constantly get asked by the same guy if the flat tire what has half the tread peeled off is still repairable or if the truck that is so overloaded that the tires are almost rubbing the fender wells can be lifted on a hoist with an 8k Lb limit. Or various other questions that make me want to slam my head into a wall repeatedly.

    Or the one from last week. Can you change the oil on the truck that hasn't had an oil change for at least 10,000 miles with less than a quart left and just clumps left. It was so bad that you could hear the lifters starving for oil. I wouldn't touch it in fear of it coming back to haunt me after the engine inevitably blows.
     
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  33. MrFixIt

    MrFixIt Old Jarhead LB#42 Supporter Bushcraft Friend Bushclass I

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    This happened yesterday afternoon.
    I was working in a concession stand, getting ready to paint the ceiling after we had some drywall work done.
    A lady steps in and tells me she was in charge of the stand for the upcoming season and just wanted "to look around".
    I explained to her that several things were going to happen before the end of the month and she seemed quite pleased.
    She had commented earlier about the light fixtures that were lying on a counter and I had told her that I was going to replace them with LED fixtures.
    She opened a couple of cabinets, then walked over to the light switch and flipped it on.
    She looked at me and said in a deadpan, "Well, that was stupid..." then left.
    It was all I could do to not crack up...
     
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  34. DavidJAFO

    DavidJAFO Keeper of the Clubhouse swear jar Supporter

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    hello,
    (thinking out loud) methinks Brother @isme has been sampling the latest batch of top-shelf Apple juice again. :54:
    Regards
    David
     
  35. saveitforsunrise

    saveitforsunrise Supporter Supporter

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    While welding as a millwright, I tell my new helper.

    Joe, “eyes” I start welding a seam on a hopper.

    Brad. “Sorry joe, I couldn’t watch that long, it really hurts.”

    Joe. Oh.......
     
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  36. fatcat55

    fatcat55 Scout

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    I know there are a lot of people who ask "stupid" questions -that won't change.

    Based on some of the above stories you might consider what could have happened if they had not asked you that "stupid" question and just gone ahead with whatever it was without asking.
     
  37. werewolf won

    werewolf won TANSTAAFL Supporter Bushcraft Friend

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    I went to an accident scene once. The victim’s forearm was fractured his hand and the lower two bones were at 90 degrees to the rest of his arm, how they were not sticking through the skin was a question I’d like to have asked, but as I’m treating this mess the guy asks if I thought his arm was broken. My reply? Nope I don’t think it’s broken…I know it is!
     
  38. Jon Foster

    Jon Foster Guide

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    I think the worst one that I can remember (and I remember a lot of them) was a lady who asked us for a quote to install a new outlet on a wall in her house. When we gave her the price she balked and asked why it would be so much and take so long to complete. She literally thought we could just add the outlet with a face plate to the wall and it would work. She had no clue wires needed to be run in the walls for the new outlet to work... We left. There are times when no amount of money makes a nightmare job worth the trouble.

    Jon.
     
  39. Daniel82

    Daniel82 Tracker

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    I knew a young woman who was a manager at auto zone. In all seriousness she asked if motor oil had an expiration date. She was informed that the couple million years in the ground didn’t hurt it time on the shelf wouldn’t either.

    This then got the devil going in my head. When I owned my tree company and had to do oil changes there was a new guy at my favorite local parts and everything store. I needed 20 gallons of oil. I told the poor guy to check the dates on the buckets for the expired oil. It turned into a disaster. The rest of the counter guys wouldn’t let me call him off. They sent him all over the place looking for it. It was an entertaining half hour. He was quite pissed off about it later. He still gives me the finger every time I walk in 6 years later.
     
  40. Sawdustdave

    Sawdustdave Supporter Supporter

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    First year I was married we went to visit my folks over the 4th of July weekend. It was hot and humid, and Dad and I went to the 80 in the Town of Peshtigo to make wood - cut down some dead trees, etc. Spent quite some time doing that, and when it was time to quit I grabbed his big old Craftsman chainsaw and an axe and headed back to the clearing where his truck was parked. I was sweaty, covered in sawdust, wearing my hard hat (tin, like Dad's).

    Meanwhile, a local DNR warden pulled into the drive over the culvert. He saw me walking toward the truck, and asked "What'cha doing?"

    Looked at him...

    Thankfully, before I had some dumb@** answer Dad came out to the clearing. Everyone knew Dad. Warden says "Oh, hi Norm..."

    I wanted to tell him I was using the saw to hunt deer...
     
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  41. Denman

    Denman Scout

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    Good one,but I like that kit.
     
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  42. Beard-O

    Beard-O Tracker

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    Last year I moved three hours away to go back to school. I drove to the local Home Depot and spent nearly 300 dollars on moving supplies: boxes, tape, paper, moving blankets, etc . . . I pushed the loaded up cart to the register and the lady started scanning my merchandise. She looks at me and asks, "Are you moving?" Now if you know me, I cannot pass up such opportunities as I am pretty quick on my feet. I just looked at her and said "Nope I am building a sweet ass fort." She proceeded to stammer and stumble over her words before she eeked out "Oh . . . erm . . . well . . . Ok that is good." She then continued to scan the rest of my stuff in absolute silence.
     
  43. Beard-O

    Beard-O Tracker

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    Hahahahaha I was on Brigade staff duty once and a private walks in and says "Uh, I need to speak to Sargent Major."

    "Uh no you don't private go back to where you came from," I told him.

    "But Sergeant, my team leader sent me here to get a box of grid squares." Little did I know that is when the sergeant major walked out of his office and was standing behind me.

    "Your team leader said what?" Sergeant Major questioned.

    "Uhhhh, He sent me here for a box of grid squares, Sergeant Major" he private said nervously.

    "Wait here." Sergeant Major commanded. He then turned around and went back in his office. I could here some movement and wondered what he was doing. He was in his office for quite a while. What seemed like an eternity later he walked out. "Hold out your PC [Patrol Cap]" he said to the now visibly scared private. He then filled the privates hat with a bunch of little pieces of paper. "You tell your team leader he doesn't go home until he puts THAT back together."

    That is when I realized why the Sergeant Major was in his office for so long. He dug out a map and cut it into pieces along the gridlines.
     
  44. chansta

    chansta keeper of the flame Supporter

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    One of my college roommates had an identical twin. A girl once asked them about their birthdays. She couldn't understand why it was the same day.
     
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  45. oddjob35

    oddjob35 Scout

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    In a local bar when I was a lot younger, a new barmaid started work and it seemed like the manager had only hired her for her looks (if ya know what I mean)!! Anyway on about her third night, one of my group said "hey watch this". He went up to the bar and said that his wife had put him on a diet and that he was only allowed to drink water, no alcohol. So he got her to go through the various brands of bottled water they had on the shelf so that he could pick one. Having finally "decided" which brand he wanted he finally asked her if she had the diet version. Several minutes of searching and finally a question to the bar manager (who nearly exploded after giving her the answer), she came back and with a straight face, apologized and asked if the normal water would be OK as they didn't have any diet water in stock!!

    OJ
     
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