Absurd recipes


Artificial intelligence, and photoshop can create anything or alter old school stuff, and it’s impossible to tell. Except here, somebody made that up.
 
Ioway said:
Artificial intelligence, and photoshop can create anything or alter old school stuff, and it’s impossible to tell. Except here, somebody made that up.
Click to expand...

My uncle had no clue what spaghetti was or how to cook it. I was in either 4th or 5th grade and was feeling poorly. Mom was at work and my Uncle was sitting with me. He asked what I wanted to eat. I wanted spaghetti. He didn’t know what spaghetti was, I had to tell him to boil the noodles. I usually poured ketchup on noodles and put a lot of black pepper on.

Off to the kitchen he went. He returned about an hour later and asked how to tell when the noodles were done. I told him they would get soft. He brought me a bowl of cooked beyond belief noodles. They weren’t noodles anymore though. Just a bowl of thick starch. I ate it, but it sure was different. I couldn’t recreate if I tried. 🤣

That is a true story.
 
natashaskitchen.com

Hard Boiled Egg Chocolate Pudding

Viral Hard-boiled Egg Chocolate Pudding tastes as good as chocolate pudding with the protein of an egg in each serving! Takes just 5 minutes!
natashaskitchen.com natashaskitchen.com

I've tried it and it isn't too bad. The consistency was a little off - maybe I need to mix it more?

I'm going to try and substitute the granulated sugar with honey and see what happens.

Regardless, the ingredients are much better for us than the modified cornstarch, sodium phosphate, tetrasodium pyrophosphate, natural/artificial flavor, artificial color, and mono- and diglycerides found in store bought puddings.
 
Andy in NH said:
natashaskitchen.com

Hard Boiled Egg Chocolate Pudding

Viral Hard-boiled Egg Chocolate Pudding tastes as good as chocolate pudding with the protein of an egg in each serving! Takes just 5 minutes!
natashaskitchen.com natashaskitchen.com

I've tried it and it isn't too bad. The consistency was a little off - maybe I need to mix it more?

I'm going to try and substitute the granulated sugar with honey and see what happens.

Regardless, the ingredients are much better for us than the modified cornstarch, sodium phosphate, tetrasodium pyrophosphate, natural/artificial flavor, artificial color, and mono- and diglycerides found in store bought puddings.
Click to expand...
Maybe add some Avacado for creaminess
 
https://bushcraftusa.com/goto/post?id=7423659
My uncle had no clue what spaghetti was or how to cook it. I was in either 4th or 5th grade and was feeling poorly. Mom was at work and my Uncle was sitting with me. He asked what I wanted to eat. I wanted spaghetti. He didn’t know what spaghetti was, I had to tell him to boil the noodles.

Off to the kitchen he went. He returned about an hour later and asked how to tell when the noodles were done.
Click to expand...
Was this in the days before they added the instructions on the box?

The recipes did improve in that book...
Fer instance this Mulligan recipe...
This kinda reads like one of mine...
MULLIGAN
This is a camp dish to be cooked over an open fire. I guarantee nothing on a stove. I know
nothing of stoves, and have a dark suspicion of them. To make it: Place in a kettle half full
of cold water either (a) fish cut in chunks, (b) a couple of dozen clams, or (c) a half dozen
chunks of venison about the size of a tennis ball, depending on whether you want a Fish
Mulligan, a Clam Mulligan, or a Game Mulligan. Also depending on what you have. Also a
half dozen peeled potatoes and three large onions. Salt and pepper, bring slowly to a boil.
Add a handful of cubes of salt pork or bacon. Simmer slowly until the potatoes disintegrate.
If you have the remains of a can of corn or a little residue of cold rice or anything of like
nature, drop them in. Next put in all the stale bread or hard tack the traffic will bear.
Dissolve a tablespoonful of flour in a little warm water, and stir that in for thickening. Cook
slowly until you can’t stand it any longer, and fly to it.
Click to expand...
Check this citron melon recipe:

Gardens-In-The-Sand: Citron Reprise

gardens-in-the-sand.blogspot.com gardens-in-the-sand.blogspot.com
 
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HillbillyHiker said:
@stonethegardener
Maybe, I don’t know. Something even funnier is, he was in WW2 and was sent to Italy. 🤣
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That's a good story, and knowing that he was in Italy and still didn't know what spaghetti was makes it even better. You would think that one time the mess cooks would have served him "Army noodles with ketchup".

Ioway said:
Artificial intelligence, and photoshop can create anything or alter old school stuff, and it’s impossible to tell. Except here, somebody made that up.
Click to expand...

It's out of control. It's getting harder to filter through what is good information and what is useless on virtually everything now.
 
Back in the years I worked in a group home for juvenile delinquent boys we took joy in turning out some excellent hearty meals but sometimes the refrigerator would have an abundance of leftovers. We would sort through them and if it was lots of tomato sauce based things we would layer them out in a large baking pan and add cheese and garlic and bake it. We told them it was Venetian Strata….just like the layers of muck in the canals of Venice. It generally was tasty and cleared out the refrigerator nicely. Mmmm, ..good old Venetian Strata just like grandma made.
 
Neither my late mother or Ex could cook.

Mother was such a horrible cook, she burned Hotdogs, COOKED IN WATER. One time she made fish that I had caught; it ws so bad that even the cats wouldn't eat it when I gave it to them under the table. In fact, one of the cats not only hissed and swiped at me, but he also bit me, because he thought I was trying to poison him.

My Ex's first meal that she made me ws pork dumplings, I should point out she was a vegetarian, and didn't know that ground pork had to be cooked to 160°F. I spent that night at the ER throwing up like no other.

I sure wish they had that cookbook lol.

As a former Chef, I am rather picky when it comes to cookbooks. With that said, I find that Francis Mallmann cookbooks and videos are very interesting. Some of his books revolves around 'charring' the proteins.

Just stay away from Andrew Zimmermans Bizarre Foods shows if you have a weak stomach
 
I inherited a KitchenAid stand mixer, and thought it was pretty cool that I didn’t have to knead dough by hand. I figured if a few minutes was good, a half an hour or so oughtta be excellent. Nope! That’s not how bread dough works. Oops
 
I just read the directions on the back of the spaghetti package. Calls for 4 quarts of water to the pound! Seems wasteful.
I use 2 quarts, pour the water off, and cool same for the cats. They love it.
Last week, I cooked up a 2-pound package of spaghetti in those same 2 quarts. You know what? Couldn't pour off a drop! Those noodles absorbed all that water! Tasted fine.
 
@Ioway I think you are missing the point of the KitchenAid mixer. They are extremely useful, and not for their ability to knead dough. KitchenAid has a ton of attachments that connect to your mixer base. They have pasta maker machine attachments for every shape of pasta, a meat grinder attachment, a veggie peeler, sausage maker, veggie spiralizer attachment, and the list goes on and on for the numerous other KitchenAid attachments.

My grandparents had one with an assortment of attachments. I remember asking for a hamburger, so grandpa took me out to the market, bought a boneless steak, brought it home and put on the meat grinder attachment, and viola my hamburger meat was created.

You can find a ton of used and discount attachments for your KitchenAid mixer or wait until Black Friday sales and buy new.
 
@OldSkoolCamper

There is also Mayonnaise soup and ice cream in some part of Asia. I saw this in Andrew Zimmerman's show Bizarre Foods. and YUCK

My favorite story is Rock/Stone soup. I was young when I first heard it & I was inspired by this story/fable and it is one of the reasons why I have been feeding the homeless for decades. I also used this story in practice to bring people (neighbors) together in a more social environment, although I supply a lot more than the rock lol.
 
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